Under the Influence:  Interview with Southern Bellwether Lindsay Jackson

by Katharine Elizabeth Monahan Huntley

Lindsay:  So this piece is really going to happen?  Hilarious!  No rush . . . take your time.  I’ll send over anything else I find around the city or on Amazon I think you’d like to wear.

Teal Mosanana Oval Retro Trendy Sunglasses:  $15.99 “They made me think of you!  And ofc these, but this would be a treat.” Krewe Margaret—doesn’t follow the trends, she makes them:  $335.

Carmen and I were in New Orleans to hear Emil play Sax in the birthplace of Jazz.  After the clapping, we were on our own to explore tourist trappings. 

On the return trip from the Garden District, we hopped off the trolley for a quick refresh.  Commander’s Palace beckoned, and we answered the call. Bellied up to the bar; Flies on the wall. 

L.A. jaded, we were drawn to a young couple celebrating with champagne in a chiller and oysters on ice.  Chris sported a trimmed strawberry blond beard and Lindsay—a bejeweled headband and cape.

Date night for these high school & college sweethearts, parents of three.  Carmen and Chris spoke of career connections.  Because of my magenta faux fur, Lindsay thought I was from NoLa.

A brief interlude turned into a four hour stay, dry ‘tinis, bottles upon bottles of crisp rosé.

True to her name, Lindsay had a lot to say—Y’all, I was here for the drawl.

Owner of the White Oak Fields blueberry farm that also serves as wedding venue, Lindsay’s mission is “to create beauty and connect with others” and her quiddity is the sweet tea.

I had to know how she got her glow.

“The Ordinary.”  AHA 30% BHA 2 % Peeling Solution.  e.l.f. Bronzing Drops.
Hair?
“Batiste Dry Shampoo, Brunette Hair.”
Erimish “Monet Pillow Set” stacking bracelets.  Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin hand gel.
Mac Whirl lipliner.

Onto sunnies:
Carfia Retro Tortoise Frames “Perfect for flattering small faces.  You don’t want to miss it!”

Lindsay tried on my signature “Kurt Cobain’s” purchased from Iguana Vintage in NoHo, and we both went through my “hitt’n’ the town bag,” lined up my lip liner, lipsticks, lip oils, eyeliner, lash extension and eyebrow brush on the bar.

Naturally, the next step was for Lindsay to paint wings.  Washing my hands in the Ladies, a Lady compliments my eye makeup, and Lindsay’s disembodied voice floats from the stall.  “Would you like me to do your eyeliner?”

Chris, referring to his wife as a ”smoke show” made me immediately crave a Capri.  The Christian couple offered no judgment, and Lindsay offered to come outside with me.

Alex, one of the Gen Z boys off the party bus, bummed a cig and sat between us on the bench.  Lindsay name-checked her husband several times, and suggested the young men check out The Gold Mine, famous for its Flaming Dr. Pepper shots.

Strolling back to our krewe of two, Lindsay announced we were all going to the bespoke saloon in the French Quarter.  Carmen seconded that notion, and we were in motion. Chris and I smiled, eyes rolling—we both knew it was too late in the daze. Time to part ways.

Back at the Omni’s Royal Bar, Carmen and I quaffed an ill-advised final final and on the advice of the entire bartending staff, chomped a cricket.

Lindsay:  Hope y’all made it back okay!  We enjoyed y’alls company!

Southern Charmed, we’re sure.

Park City Pretty

by KE Monahan Huntley

January 22
Conan O’Brien’s last Tonight Show,
broadcast from beautiful downtown Burbank

Insert Snooki Wah-wah.

“Oh Snooki, I really like your hair. I think I’m going to get a Bumpits.”—My Life on the D-List: Kathy’s Smear Campaign

Main Street Bundle Up to Trundle Up
Bunya Bunya bat eyes with Dax Shepard’s baby blues on the way to this chic boutique.

Java Cow Pauly Shore stops M. Argentine to ask where the “Moo” is.

NYU Tisch School of the Arts hosts a cocktail party at the ritzy Riverhorse Café. Michelle Argentine and I sip Tisch-tinis and spy on the black clad (and 90s flannel) crowd. Outside, we spot Seth Rogen, yet fail to mention our umpteenth viewing of Superbad the night before. Leaving, we are handed invites to the NBCUNIVERSAL party at the Coda Gallery. Plus chapstick. What would Conan do?

Sisyphus or Scenechronize?
“Because no matter if you are above or below the line, your ass is always on it.”

Rhys Ryan opens the door for us at the scenechronize house on Ontario. Effusive, engaging: not a moment has passed since last year’s encounter. Introductions are made to snow show-biz cohorts Darren and Amber. Jeremiah concocts vodka mojitos garnished with fresh mint leaves; Rhys compliments my pink sweater adorned with rosettes — hand knitted by my great aunt Katharine Barnes — and regales the tale of dining with Don Rickles. Kathy Griffin is immediately invoked, and I relay MacGuinness and my run-in with her Irish laddie, Patrick, in Toluca Lake. Naturally, he and Rhys are good friends.

Deer Valley Resort
Fireside Dining Alpine based menu
With Julia Child-like aplomb, Michelle instructs the chef to prepare Trinxat: savory cabbage rustic potatoes thick slices of bacon cumin seeds: and laughs at guests who do not remove their festival lanyards.

We chat about Shorty’s Stairs. Shorty’s Stairs is named after Ella’s husband and is the short cut from D. Wong and M. Argentine’s Rossi Hill abode down to Main Street. Twin Peaks Agent Dale Cooper once gallantly helped Michelle off of the slippery bottom step.

Michelle: A coal miner’s daughter, Ella passed away this year. She and Shorty lived on Ontario in their original house since forever. Ella kept a chicken coop, the object of a recent legal entanglement with an underhanded property developer. He said the coop was on his property, she said the land in question had been given to her forty years ago. She retained an attorney, settled out of court, and kept the coop.
WBTL: What was she like?
Michelle: Delightful and charming. When she was young, I imagine she was quite handsome.
WBTL: How did she dress?
Michelle: Like she lived in a time warp. Holding her newspaper and parcels, I would give her a lift from the market to home. She would remember Astro, but never me.

Park City Film Series recommends My One and Only, It Might Get Loud, and Sita Sings the Blues. And currently, the accomplished A Single Man.

Slamdance Documentary Shorts
Eh.

IN•N•Out

Pismo Beach
On the way into Park City, D. Wong spots us authentic Mexican lunch served up at Molacasa. On the way out, we dine on chorizo tacos and orange Jaritos at authentic Anaya’s Market. If you cannot find a seat at one of the two tables, makeshift a place setting on the market shelves. Bueno.

January 25
For Kathy Griffin in The Hills: Adjacent, it “. . . turns out thatI’m Stephanie Pratt and that my mother is Audrina.”—My Life on the D-List: Moving the Merch

The Hill’s Stephanie Pratt applies lip gloss in the SLC Airport Ladies, skinny in her blacked out outfit. Walking through the jet bridge I fixate on the blue blue windows that are Jordan Catalano’s eyes.

Now that’s Park City pretty.

Searching for Joel Stein

by Katharine Elizabeth Monahan Huntley

Surreality TV
Fifteen minutes elapse between relishing Joel Stein’s astute observations on E! 30 Most Outrageous Celebrity Feuds while packing, and standing right next to him at the Bob Hope Airport, check-in for flight to Park City. Too shy to approach the wry and witty writer, vows are made to track down the crush during Sundance.

Flight Connections
On the prop-like plane, our Delta flight attendant hails from the O.C., just like The Hills‘ LC. The vociferous Rhys Ryan masks his fear of flying with bourbon and sweet mentorship of 25 year-old NBC intern Justin Leader: “Do you know how Main Street works? Filmmakers Lodge?” Differences defined by pop culture references: “I grew up watching Maude.” “I grew up watching Star Trek: The Next Generation.”

Convos continue: industry lore, dotcom days, Movie Magic and Creative Planet. “Where can you buy original Pan Am Luggage?” Rhys says, “Corner of Hazeltine & Burbank Blvd.” A young Dyan Cannnon look-alike, named Diane, pipes up she’s best friends with the owner.

Email addresses exchanged; party invitations issued.

Eggs Over Ehren
Main Street Deli contretemps: hung-over hungry filmmaker accuses Michelle Argentine of allowing us to take cuts. Sundance may be subdued but the diner is slammed. Later, same filmmaker glares and stubs out cig in front of the Treasure Mountain Inn — venue for Slamdance Film Fest. Three times is the charm as we bump into nemesis Ehren Parks, producer of six and a half, at the UCLA party held at Café Terigo.

Postcards exchanged; apologies issued.

UCLA Alumi Party
Robert Rosen, Dean of UCLA School of Theater, Film and Television expounds on “expanding the possibilities of what story, sound, and image can do.” I spy Dr. Rosen on the flight home. He diligently works on a crossword puzzle, which reminds me to Netflix Wordplay.

Barbara Boyle, Film Chair, Professor, UCLA School of Theater, Film and Television and past president of both IFP/West and Women In Film exhorts me to get more involved (and compliments my blue nail polish and black beret.)

We chat with the delightful Stacy Barnes and discuss the possibility of being distantly related.

Great Aunt Katharine Ross was married to Great Uncle Reverend C. Rankin Barnes. His first short-lived marriage was to Florence Lowe “Pancho” Barnes, pioneer of women’s aviation and owner of the Happy Bottom Riding Club. Fun fact: Uncle Rankin, Canon of San Diego, was occasionally flown up to San Simeon to play chess with William Randolph Hearst in the fabulous Hearst Castle.

Slamdance Fireside Chat: The Art, Craft, and Business of Screenwriting: panelist Pamela Gray declares, “You expect when you’re a poet, no-one’s going to read your work, [however], when you write a screenplay, you expect to see it on the screen.”

Reverting back to “Flight Connections,” Pamela Gray’s first writing credit was Star Trek: The Next Generation teleplay “Violations” co-written with Jeri Taylor and based upon the story by Gray, Shari Goodhartz, and T Michael, the latter who was a member of the Movie Magic crew, pre-Creative Planet.

Panelists discuss great expectations in topics ranging from pitches to copyright issues and the individual writing process. Perhaps because she is a junior high drama teacher and fellow Virgo, Nancy Kissam Drool is particularly inspiring. Tip: Beyond script & storyboard, Catherine Hardwicke creates “books,” scrapbook visuals for Suits.

Gallery Shorts Block 1
Unfortunately, there isn’t time to see Tony Zoreil, but The Covenant of Mr. KaschDish, and I Don’t Sleep I Dream are all highly charged short films that bode well for these filmmakers’ future.

Be Ready on the Set
Rhys Ryan is our genial host at The Spur for scenechronize, “radically useful software for the entire production.” The NBC intern circulates; M. Argentine and I chat with cute locals Cory Burnett and his blonde bombshell gal pal Tangee.

Hospitality Sweet
The Argentine • Astro • Wong Household is accessorized with a fire engine red fire hydrant.

Heber Field Trip
Breakfast at Chicks alongside barbershop Dicks.

E!
Astro’s Bigger Than Bob at the Entertainment Weekly headquarters Kimball Art Center.

Astro on a lead is the lure for Joel Stein, still not to be spotted. Instead, the Harlequin Great Dane encounters Emma Roberts — both are immediately enamored. Atop The Dakota, E! News new correspondent Ashlan Gorse gets camera-ready to interview Greg Mottola and Kristen Stewart. Denise Richards minces down Main Street with a phalanx of men in black. Benjamin Bratt needs no entourage; tall, dark, and handsome (like Joel!) he passes out his own postcards. Packing for SuBurb(ank)ia, Joel Stein is found at last. Alas, not in real life, but on a re-run of Celebrity Feuds. Same time next year? Fortune not fooling, he might even be our Delta flight attendant!

Editor’s Note: The aforementioned crush is purely writerly. Otherwise this article would be titled “Kissing Joel Stein.” Really.