In Monsoon Wedding a “. . . bacchanalian revelry of kebabs, whisky and Bollywood music that is a Punjabi wedding,”1 Mira Nair celebrates on film the conflicts and complications of an arranged marriage in contemporary India. In the Postcolonial Studies at Emory University, Santana Flanigan outlines Indian arranged marriages — their history, function, and practice:
“Arranged marriages have been part of the Indian culture since the fourth century. Many consider the practice a central fabric of Indian society, reinforcing the social, economic, geographic, and the historic significance of India (Stein). Prakasa states that arranged marriages serve six functions in the Indian community: (1) helps maintain the social satisfaction system in the society; (2) gives parents control over family members; (3) enhances the chances to preserve and continue the ancestral lineage; (4) provides an opportunity to strengthen the kinship group; (5) allows the consolidation and extension of family property; (6) enables the elders to preserve the principle of endogamy (Prakasa 17). The practice of arranged marriages began as a way of uniting and maintaining upper caste families. Eventually, the system spread to the lower caste where it also was used for the same purpose. The specifics of arranged marriages vary; depending on if one is Hindu or Muslim. “Marriage is treated as an alliance between two families rather than a union between two individuals (Prakasa 15).”
Ninety-five percent of all current Indian marriages are arranged, either through child marriages or family / friend arrangement.2
Married By America executive producer Ted Haims claims: “Sixty percent of marriages in the world today are still arranged.”3 In America’s reality television run amok, Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?, The Bachelor /ette, et cetera, is the concept of an arranged marriage archaic or advantageous?
Write Between the Lines explores this question in an interview with Tina Patel and Meeta Sunderwala: vibrant, vivacious Gujarati Indians and first generation Americans.
Meeta’s parents hail from Surat, India, located in the western side of the country. She was born in Michigan and moved with her family to the Golden State at the age of twelve. A graduate of the Walter A. Haas School of Business, University of California, Berkeley, Meeta currently holds the title of Finance Director of Mergers and Acquisitions at Hewlett Packard — fierce technologies; global in scope.
Tina is a born and bred Valley girl. Her mother is from Bombay and father from Boroda. She attended the University of California, Riverside, and received her MBA from Cal State Los Angeles. After executing the wildly successful Bratz Dolls campaign, Tina was wooed away from her position as Marketing Brand Manager for MGA Entertainment — to become Brand Manager for Mattel’s perennial single career gal — Barbie.
They are smart, savvy, and very much women of independent means. To the chagrin of their parents, they are also unmarried.
“Just because India has gone global should we embrace everything? What about our ancient cultures? Our traditions? Our values?” Delhi.com television program commentator exhorts the people of India in—Monsoon Wedding.4
WBTL: Have you traveled to India? Minarets, mosques, the Taj Mahal?
Tina: Yes, I love India, although I was too young at the time to appreciate it. I can’t wait to go back.
Meeta: I was seven years old. I actually had a really good time. I learned to speak the language fluently. Even today, at dinner parties I have no problem understanding the breakneck banter of my mother and her friends. My parents visit India every few years and I am looking forward to traveling with them next trip out.
WBTL: What aspects of the Indian culture do you uphold?
Meeta: It is a beautiful culture. First and foremost, Indian cuisine is a necessity for me. My mom is an amazing cook. Since my parents live close by, I pop by a few times a month to satisfy my cravings. My favorites are always prepared, and my mother typically sends me home with a week’s worth of treats! I also enjoy the music, classical and folk dance, the cinema.
WBTL: I first heard the term “Bollywood” in the late 80s from an Indian roommate, Sanjeev. Now “Planet Bollywood”5 appears to be quite the trend. Have you seen Monsoon Wedding?
Meeta: Not yet. I know my parents have. My mother is a huge Bollywood fan. Every week she rents new releases from the local Indian store. When I was younger, I would watch movies with her, even though many were in Hindi and without subtitles. (I only speak Gujarati, but my mother speaks both languages.) My mother would be so excited we were spending time together, and that I was interested in the Indian culture, that she would stop the tape throughout the course of the entire movie to translate the words and actions. To make sure I understood.
Tina: I loved Monsoon Wedding. That’s Indian culture. Bollywood fascinates my mom as well; she subscribes to six Indian cable channels. Every time I walk into her house — that’s all that’s playing. Unless, of course, the Lakers’ game is on.
WBTL:Interview featured an article “Hollywood? Bollywood? Galli-wood?” touting designer John Galliano as the “Raja of the Runway”6 for this season’s Indian inspired fashions.
Meeta: I have dressed in a sari and other types of Indian attire when I’ve attended Indian functions, such as a wedding. For women of my generation and younger, a sari is no longer considered hip. There are more modern types of “party wear” such as short decorative blouses and matching long skirts. And like the rest of the world, the styles are continually changing. Also, the clothing is only one piece of the fashion equation. My mom has an extensive selection of matching jewelry (necklace, earrings, and bracelets) for any outfit.
Tina: I’ve never worn a sari, but I do have outfits from India — tulle tops and flowing pants.
WBTL: Red vermilion dot? The ‘red dot’ on the forehead is not always only red and nor is it always a dot. The dot is called ‘Kumkum’ or ‘Bindi’, and when worn by men it is called ‘Tilak’ (mark). . . . Like all Hindu symbols, ‘red dot’ has multiple meanings which are all valid at the same time.7
Meeta: The red dot used to represent that you were married, but now it’s an ornate decoration, a fashion statement. My mother has bindis in all colors and shapes — again, she’s equipped for any ensemble.
Tina: It used to mean you were taken. Now, it’s an accessory. Girls wear different colors; sometimes they use sequins, beads, glitter . . . gemstones glued on the forehead match the shade of the sari.
WBTL: Fashion and female power: “The Upanishads, that are a collection of ancient Indian philosophical texts, discuss the concept of a Universal Self that is within each one of us, the Self which is the spiritual center of existence. Some believe that the woman is superior to man in her ability to discern her inner Self. The red dot symbolizes the third eye that women possess, the mind’s eye, through which the Self becomes infinitely clear.
The Hindu Trinity (just like the Father, Son and the Holy Ghost [in Christianity]) is Brahma (the Creator), Vishnu (the Protector) and Shiva (the Destroyer). Shiva is a calm and passive God who is content with doing penance on Mount Kailash, his earthly abode in the Himalayas. He has a third eye on his forehead that is always closed. When opened it has the unique ability to reduce whatever it sees to ashes. The red dot on the woman’s forehead signifies that eye of destruction. The Indian woman, like Shiva, is calm and patient. And the red dot is a warning to men not to try her patience, for someday she might be pushed over the limit, open her third eye, and reduce them to ashes.”8
WBTL: Religious upbringing?
Meeta: My parents are Hindu and both very religious. Growing up, however, they did not push their beliefs on their children. We were not exposed that much to Hinduism with the exception of religious occasions like weddings and certain prayer events.
Tina: I was raised Hindu. My dad was not very strict; he was acclimated to the American culture. He had come to the United States to study for his Masters degree in Engineering at the University of Minnesota. My mom’s strong in her spiritual beliefs — but she’s still pretty liberal. We honor significant holidays like the annual prayer event Diwali. The “festival of lights” pays tribute to several gods and is celebrated during November over a period of five days. Firecrackers, oil lamps, sweets.
“Diwali is awesome. And there’s food and there’s going to be dancing and, oh, I have the raddest outfit.”— Kelly imparts Indian culture in The Office: Diwali9
Meeta: I’ve converted to Christianity which makes it difficult to maintain a large part of my Indian heritage, because religion is at its base. What I pass on to my own children will be India’s cultural arts. My parents don’t take issue to my conversion. My dad, in particular, is very familiar with Christianity and other religions, and he believes that there is only one universal God across all the religions. They are actually happy that I have developed a strong sense of faith and spirituality.
“I know it’s a risk but what marriage isn’t a risk? Whether our parents introduce or we meet in a club what differences does it make?” Hemant asks Aditi—Monsoon Wedding10
WBTL: Were your parents’ marriages arranged?
Meeta: Yes, but it was a bit unconventional. My mom’s family is wealthy and my dad’s family is not, although they both are from the same caste. They came from different economic levels; however, my mom preferred to marry an educated and intelligent man, which he was. She chose him — she was allowed some say in the matter. My parents do have some friends who had what they call a “love marriage,” which simply means they fell in love without any arrangement. Although it’s more common in India these days, a “love marriage” was not the norm in my parents’ day.
Tina: They were both previously married and neither marriage worked out — which was considered scandalous. My dad was dating American women while he was here (more scandal!), and his father mandated he marry an Indian girl: “You cannot disgrace the family!” So he told his father to find someone for him in India — while he kept his options open in the U.S. My mom’s brother-in-law knew my dad’s family and he set them up. My dad went to visit her in India. They met briefly — my mom at first was not interested, but my dad definitely was and he pursued her. He returned to the United States and wrote her love letters. That’s when she fell in love with him and applied for a visa.
WBTL: What do you think about arranged marriages?
Meeta: I’m opposed to the way it was done for my parents. Although they did meet before the wedding, there was no time for them to really get to know one another. I completely disagree with the idea of falling in love after you’re wedlocked. I don’t mind the concept of being set up; however, I will definitely be madly in love with the man I marry — before I marry him!
Tina: I don’t believe in it all. My parents are still happy, and my boyfriend Paresh’s parents, whose marriage was arranged at birth, have grown to love each other — but for me — my values are worlds apart. I’m independent. In India the women are subservient — it’s the women taking care of the house.
Meeta: The process a relative of mine is going through right now is an example of a modern approach. He is dating women — but first the match needs to be approved by both families. It’s really no different in that respect from a set-up.
“Do you get all your life’s direction from Cosmopolitan? For all your talk of passion, how about marrying for love?” Cousin Ria asks Aditi—Monsoon Wedding11
WBTL: What are your parents’ expectations as far as your marriage?
Meeta: My mom would be thrilled if I married an Indian man, and she would be more than delighted to help me find him! Now that she has discovered the internet — watch out! She prints out profiles of Indian men. The network online and connections throughout her Indian community — well, apparently the marriage possibilities are endless. Unfortunately for my mother, I am rarely interested in the men she chooses.
Tina: My parents say: “Marry whomever you wish, as long as you’re happy.” Unconsciously, though, I’ve always gravitated towards Indian men. I mean, I didn’t have a serious boyfriend until college — and he was Indian. Paresh is Gujarati.
WBTL: What if you don’t marry an Indian?
Meeta: Like I said, my mom would love it if I married an Indian man, but she really doesn’t expect it. It wouldn’t be devastating because my older sister married a Caucasian and my mother adores him, and I’ve dated many men of different nationalities. As a matter of fact, I’ve never dated an Indian man. My mother’s concern is the fact that I’m not married, period. When I broke up with my last boyfriend I thought she would be thrilled because he wasn’t Indian. She wasn’t. She told me: “I know he made you happy, and I was happy for you.” This was such a surprise because he is African American — which is still practically unheard of in the Indian community. My mother coming to terms with the racial issues, to accept him the way she did, especially knowing how that would make her look in the Indian community — that was a moment of her personal evolution that deeply touched me.
WBTL: What will your wedding be like?
Tina:Monsoon Wedding, although instead of Punjabi, I’ll follow the Gujarati marriage customs.
“Gujarati marriages elevates the woman to become her husbands sadharmacharini and is always seen as a partner to him in life’s pursuits.”11
Meeta: Simple elegance. Exquisite. A traditional white wedding gown — a walk down the church aisle. The reception will be extravagant — an affair to remember. My sister had two separate religious wedding celebrations, Christian and Hindu, and although an Indian ceremony will be more for my parents — I am open to it. It also depends on whom I marry.
WBTL: What expectations do you hold for your future children?
Tina: I won’t impose certain aspects of the culture on my children, however, they will be raised Hindu. That’s vital for both families.
Meeta: One thing is for sure — there will be no talk of arrangements. Whomever they fall in love with is fine. I would also like to share aspects of the culture with them — the food, the language, the arts. As time flies by, my heritage and family have become even more important to me.
Tina has recently purchased a dream house with her intended, childhood sweetheart Paresh Varu, on the same street as her childhood home. Marrying the boy next door who is a handsome doctor to boot — now that sounds like a mother’s reverie that crosses all cultural boundaries.
After Meeta’s intended Prince Charming turned into a dreadful toad before her very eyes, she began taking joy in rediscovering herself and playing the field. Word on the street is this sexy and sophisticated Gujarati girl won’t be footloose and fancy-free for long—stayed tuned for the happy ever after to her fairytale.
Footnotes
1www.filmfour.com/monsoonwedding/
2Flanigan, Santana. “Arranged Marriages in India.” (Fall. 2000): n. pag. Online. Postcolonial Studies at Emory Pages. Internet. September 28, 2001.
3Ross, Dalton. “What to Watch.” Entertainment Weekly 7 March 2003: 64.
4Dhawan, Sabrina (Writer) and Nair, Mira (Director). Monsoon Wedding. (Transcribed from film).
5
6“Hollywood? Bollywood? Galli-wood?” Interview May 2003: 83-87.
7Ask the Swami About India. Internet. 2003. http://www.cs.uic.edu/~asampath/swami.html
8http://www.emory.edu/ENGLISH/web.html
9The Office: Diwali
10Dhawan, Sabrina (Writer) and Nair, Mira (Director). Monsoon Wedding. (Transcribed from film).
11 Ibid
12 Gujararti Marriage Customs (2001): Online. Reetirivaz: Customs, Traditions & Rituals in India. Internet. 2001. http://www.reetirivaz.com/marr6.asp
Exotic India. Pungent streets steam after a tropical rainfall drenches. The multitude teems with disquietude, or pose silently with sacred grace. Over one billion in population and numerous states and religious sects daunt the outside observer’s comprehension of this incredible region of Southern Asia. Acclaimed Indian filmmaker Mira Nair’s Monsoon Wedding is an insight into one particular tradition in the Punjabi Indian culture, an invitation underpinned with the universal themes of responsibility versus commitment, hopes versus dreams.
A wedding ceremony in any country, at any time, is a perilous emotional undertaking. The reflection the family holds of itself, already flawed, is further fractured. In Monsoon Wedding, the Verma’s are a family portrait of jitters and jubilation against a background of caste and culture clash.
The film luxuriates in sensory explosions: a Bihari plucks the mango colored petals of glorious marigolds: he loves me he loves me not; sitars vibrate in sympathy with woeful young lovers; earrings dangle, bangles jangle. Aditi, the bride-to-be has eyes seafoam green and skin the “colour of butter.” She and her cousins are burnished beauties that slink in silk sari—shades of burnt sienna, pyracantha, magenta, midnight blue. For the wedding celebration, the bride is bedecked in jewels, her ensemble embroidered with gold threading. Attired in pale pink turbans and white native garb are the male members of the wedding party.
The betrothed couple is the focal point of the story, but not its true heart. It is the romance between P.K. Dubey, the “upwardly mobile, cell phone-wielding wheeler-dealer Tent and Catering” contractor and Alice, the Verma’s housemaid. Alice’s purity and solemnity compels Dubey to discard his pomposity. Their courtship leads to a true “love marriage.”
The heartbreak of Monsoon Wedding is Aditi’s father, Lalit — whom, amidst the jumble of endless details is anguished to discover a heretofore-trusted family friend’s past pedophile behavior with the orphaned niece he’s raised, Ria. A true dilemma: he must not only confront the man he reveres, but is financially obligated to as well. With great dignity, Lalit casts him out: “These are my children and I will protect them from even myself if I have to.” Lalit must also entreat Ria, who is poised to run away, to stay: “My family means everything to me. Please don’t leave us. Please. Ria if you go, everything will break.” Ria acquiesces; tears and rain wash away all evil influences.
Glass fragments painstakingly reworked into a new mirror image, the family rejoices during the monsoon wedding celebration, bound together once more by love and honor.
The Asian interest in balance and symmetry is so very evident in this lovely movie. A visual pleasure — each move of swordplay or stylized court manner, (beautifully synchronized and intricately orchestrated), is offset by a different one that is as equally compelling. Fantastically bright, swirling colors, then whitish pearlescent tints, or frigid washed out blues or dead grey blacks.
The harmony is also heard: loud rustling leaves, howling winds, the whooshing of a thousand arrows — then the soothing sound of dripping water and the soft plucking of an ancient instrument. (No extraneous swelling of background orchestra or chorale.) Minimalism at its best. And the posing of the actors! Tableaux vivants of heart rending beauty — a still life full of meaning.
Hero‘s historical and intelligent storyline, is told, then retold in different ways by different characters — a choreography of words.
The self-proclaimed “Queen of Sundance” RHOSLC: Lisa Barlow
When you’ve made arrangements in years past to attend the Park City film festivals (Sundance, Slamdance, X-Dance, et cetera) over the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday weekend, it might not occur to you to check the current year’s dates until well after you’ve made your reservations and it’s much too late to change.
Upon horrified realization of your Park City faux pas, the only thing to do is your finest Hayley Mill’s Pollyanna impression and go.
The following is a 2005 interview with the vibrant Destiny Grose (and brief interjection by Dennis Wong), in a quest to find out how Utah’s historic silver mining town and world-renowned ski resort prepares for ten days of film fanaticism. Destiny is the theater critic for the Park City Record and President of the Park City Film Series Board, Her self-deprecating claim to fame is “Destiny’s 10 Days in the Dark” — film festival reviews on local radio station KPCW.
LINES: How did your moniker come about?
Destiny: The one year I saw fifty-five films in the ten days . . . I will never do that again. At Sundance, viewing 5+ films a day isn’t that uncommon, but day after day it’s a killer. There is talk of an energy drink sponsor following me around. The pitch would be that only by consuming the “_____” energy drink could it be accomplished. With my luck I’d die of a heart attack from all that caffeine!
LINES: How does Park City prep for the attack of the LA/NY people in black (PIBS)?
Destiny: Tons of water is ordered. And sushi. One year, a laundromat in town ran a special on all black loads. Wash at a reduced price — just a way to joke around and get the employees psyched.
Dennis: The high school students pay $50 for annual parking passes. During Sundance, a few entrepreneurs sell their passes for $250.
LINES: How do the locals feel about the film festivals?
Destiny: People that embrace the film festival are in for an exciting time — it’s one of the major cinematic moments in the world. I advise locals to go see ten, or at least two, movies. There are star sightings in the grocery store. If you see someone wearing a dangling pass, ask if they have a movie in the festival. You’ll feel part of it, even if you don’t have the opportunity to screen one. Get into the spirit of Sundance. Hang out on Main Street. There are masses of people — it’s alive, exhilarating. I would prefer nine months of Sundance people to the two months of summer tourists. Unfortunately, this year I’m seeing fewer movies.
LINES: Why is that?
Destiny: It’s getting harder and harder to buy tickets. Just look on eBay. Tickets for this year’s The Upside of Anger are offered at $500. On the plus side, there’s more time to hang out on Main Street — go to the Sundance house, or an alt festival like X-Dance. See what’s going on. One year an RV held a soft-core porn fest — pasties on the headlights — just one example of the many rogue film festivals you can find in Park City.
LINES: What happens after the festivals leave town?
Destiny: A couple of days afterwards, the Sundance Institute screens a few of the festival films which is great for residents to catch up on what they might have missed. They also show films in the summertime (about six from previous festivals) on an outdoor screen in the City Park. Another thing they do is work in conjunction with the Park City Film Series (which is a separate entity) to bring a documentary from the festivals on the first Thursday of the month.
It’s also great for festival-goers who arrive in town too early . . . At the Park City Library, we caught Mike Leigh’s perfectly bleak period piece Vera Drake. The titular character, her comfortable countenance secured by a home permanent wave, helps out girls who find themselves “in a bit of trouble.” A film set in Britain’s 1950s, it is every bit as relevant in current scare tactics America. Followed by cheeseburgers, chips, and Guinness draughts at O’Shucks — who needs Sundance fancy?
Pretty & Darn Quick Reviews by Various & Sundry Rabble Rousers
“. . . she’s not even reviewing a film, she’s telling you how clever she is.”— All That Jazz
• About a Boy Charming: the boy Marcus. Disarming: the boyish Hugh. Alarming: junior high, “Lorena Bobbit for Surgeon General,” and the mournful mama Marcus has on suicide watch. Barmy Brits and karmic bits make it “smooth and winning.”
• About Schmidt Another comedic lecture in Professor Payne’s American Social Studies course, or an overlong infomercial? I found it disconcerting that a commercial for Childreach, the international child sponsorship organization that is Jack Nicholson’s character’s salvation, aired in the movie theater right before the critically lauded film began. Admirable indeed, to “promote the rights and interests of the world’s children,” but, just as I like to choose my movies, I like to choose my charities.
That said, About Schmidt offers an idiosyncratic look into middle-class middle American lives—character studies made unforgettable with an excellent ensemble cast àla Citizen Ruth and Election.
• Across the Universe “Have you seen it? It’s great. They’ve got stuff.” — Eddie Izzard for the benefit of Mr. Kite.
• Adaptation “Do I have an original thought?” When writer Charlie Kaufman questions his genius, the answer comes back in the form of a pastiche perfect follow-up to he and fellow original thinker Spike Jonze’ Being John Malkovich. Catherine Keener plays Boggle!—an apt metaphor for Kaufman and Jonze’ mind game antics.
• Alpha Dog The ballad of Jesse James Hollywood: Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be drugstore cowboys.
• Amélie A perfect Parisian ensemble of innocence and cynicism.
• Arrested Development Step behind the Orange Curtain for a delicious Balboa Bar and a Gob Bluth bon mot: “These are lawyers. That’s Latin for liar.”
• Australia Baz in Oz. Great expectations, punctured by over-inflation.
• Babel The way of the gun.
• Barton Fink “I can’t start listening to the critics, and I can’t kid myself about my own work. A writer writes from his gut. His gut tells him what’s good, and what’s merely “adequate. . . . If I ran off to Hollywood now, I’d be making money, going to parties, meeting the big shots, but I’d be cutting myself off . . . from the common man.”
• Big Fish Fresh, charming, delightful. Suspend your disbelief, (as we must do in our lives). As Balanchine said: “Non-reality is the real thing.”
• Big Love (polygamous Ring around the Rosie) and Saved! (JC GRL and her girl gang for Jesus) both use the Beach Boys’ “God Only Knows” for a theme song. ACDC’s “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” might be more àpropos.
• The Big Picture This 1989 gem should be required viewing for every film school grad. Once again, writer/director Christopher Guest proves he is ahead of his time:
Building Manager: You know who used to live here? Nick: No, I don’t. Building Manager: Take a guess. Very famous. Nick: Clark Gable? Building Manager: Nope. Guess again. Nick: Marilyn Monroe? Building Manager: Nope. Nick: Errol Flynn? Building Manager: You give up? Nick: I give up. Building Manager: Chuck Barris. The Gong Show guy.
• Blades of Glory Boxers, briefs, or spectacular spandex? It’s no Ice Castles, or Zoolander for that matter, still and all, just the concept of (ex) married couple Will Arnett and Amy Poehler playing brother and sister is comedy gold.
• Blue Crush:North Shore, but with girls.
• Boarding House: North ShorePunch Drunk love.
• The Bourne Identity Ready. Set. Go! Ms. Potente sprints through Run Lola Run, then dashes with the dashing Matt Damon in Doug Liman’s stylin’ international thriller. Next film out, Franka says relax! Or at least she should.
• Carnivàle There’s no biz like showbiz, even amidst titanic rust colored dust storms in depression era Oklahoma: Samson: I’m about to make you the offer of a lifetime. . . . How would you like a career in showbizness? Ben: What’s the wages? Samson: Nothing at first . . . Tales told of the curious carnies’ code. DiVine DuVall. John Savage. John Doe. Samson the Magnificent. God and Babylon. . . . Yes, join this circus.
• Catch Me If You Can runs long. The film’s trailer and titles con you into believing it’s a keen comic flick—a nifty 60s biopic of the fumbling FBI and a scam(p) on the lam. At its core, however, is a melancholy tap dance between father and son. Still and all—a swell spin across 2 hours and 20.
• Chicago Bob Fosse’s All That Jazz is a rapturous musical feast—Chicago, written by Bill Condon and directed by Rob Marshall (based on Fosse’s stage version), is the razzmatazz cocktail to swill beforehand.
• Cold Mountain Beautiful scenery, fantastic music, especially in church’s “space” singing. Renee got all of the good lines (and the Oscar). Horrific battle scenes. A great diatribe against war, and what it can make normal people do, and it certainly exacerbates the already nastiness of terrible people. Minghella talks of “tribalism” North vs South, and, even after all of these years, I found myself disliking Southerners, despite my own Southern roots.
• Confessions of A Dangerous Mind With his latest endeavor, George Clooney proves he possesses more than bankable good looks—he also has an uncanny talent for directing. Utilizing genre-specific film techniques, Clooney escorts the audience through the adventures of Chuck Barris’ life. There is a surprising subtlety to the tone and performances in this picture given the strange and often fantastic events therein. Are the incidents real? Viewers won’t care—they’ll just be happy to have been privy to the Confessions.
• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Time-ravaged Brad, ravishing timeless Cate, moments borrowed from Forrest Galump, stolen moments from Magnolia. It’s small fry in a Big Fish pond.
• The Darjeeling Limited If you must pack your bags for a guilt trip, you might as well have matching Marc Jacobs (for Louis Vuitton) monogrammed suitcases. And a laminator. All that’s missing is a tea set for Frances.
• The Dark Knight Christopher Nolan’s sleek, yet long and winding road of a film is hijacked by Heath, the rare avis behind the jocund Joker — and Gotham’s mighty maelstrom: “I believe what doesn’t kill you makes you stranger.” Sigh.
• A Decade Under the Influence Auteurs articulate recollections of 70s films that were not just “canaries in a cage” — but viable life forces that effected cultural change. Prescient to what would happen once they hit the big time are found in an exchange between Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper’s characters in Easy Rider: Peter: You know Billy . . . we blew it. Billy: What? . . . That’s what it’s all about, man. . . . I mean, you go for the big money and you’re free, you dig? Peter: We blew it.
Gracious is the wish these “easy riders raging bulls” hold for the new generation of filmmakers who interview the filmmakers for the Decade documentary: that is to continue to follow their dreams on the path of independence.
• Donnie Darko Graham Greene’s short story The Destructors is the thematic thread tied to writer/director Richard Kelly II’s exceptional indie film. To the purpose in these dark times.
• Down with Love Ewan McGregor as Catcher Block may act like a dog in his hounds-tooth jacket, but he really is the cat’s pajamas in this spritz of a film that winks at the war between the sexes while it works its 60s fashion sense.
• Dreamgirls Jennifer Holliday or Jennifer Hudson? Each imbue girl group standout Effie: one singular sensation.
• Eight Legged Freaks Add Arachnophobia and Tremors, subtract all campy humor and Kevin Bacon and you end up with Eight Legged Freaks. A poor excuse for a “camp classic,” it has little going for it other than a stylized marketing campaign. The most entertaining thing about the entire ninety minutes was the guy who sat behind me interjecting comments like: “They cocooned his ass.” If only someone would have cocooned the asses of the filmmakers, I would have been spared this lame mutant spider mess.
• 8 Mile Director Curtis Hanson may have indulged in risky business hiring Eminem as the imitation of the real Slim Shady’s life, but he sure played it safe with writer Scott Silver’s formulaic script. Eminem acquits himself nicely as an actor, and is particularly good in the rare moments of humor (check out he and Mekhi Phifer’s rap to the tune of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Sweet Home Alabama”). Lacks the idiosyncratic characters of the fabulous Wonder Boys and the dark complexities of L.A. Confidential, but you sure can’t beat the authenticity of the slammin’ soundtrack.
• Entourage: One Day in the Valley Drama: Vince, you know my policy. Except for work, I only go to The Valley November through March. And even then, only to Sushi Row. Vince: C’mon Johnny, go for me. Drama: I’d better hydrate. By the episode’s end, Drama realizes what all of us Valley Girls already know: “Yeah, The Valley ain’t so bad.”
• Fantastic Mr. Fox Truly Scrumptious.
• Far From Heaven Gorgeous costumes, Technicolor-coordinated with the 1957 sets (Julianne Moore’s speckled winter coat matching the movie theater’s granite foyer is a stylish storytelling touch), illuminate ugly issues that have yet to be resolved. Many women in this millennium either do not recall, or recognize, the feminist movement. Ms. has reverted to Mrs. without anyone batting a false eyelash. Now that’s a real tearjerker.
• Finding Nemo Disney’s dementia division: When Pixar’s kids are bad, they’re horrid; remember vicious Sid in Toy Story? Dental (im)patient Darla’s no darling in Nemo; she and ditzy Dory swim away with this undersea story.
• Flight of the Conchords Watch this absurdist Kiwi comedy, and you will burst into song, just like Jemaine and Bret: “You’re so beautiful, you could be an air hostess in the sixties.”
• Glee “Well, if you want to sing out, sing out/And if you want to be free, be free.”— Cat Stevens as featured in Hal Ashby’s Harold and Maude. William McKinley The Go-To school for Glee and the E.L. Konigsburg classic, Jennifer, Hecate, Macbeth, William McKinley, and Me, Elizabeth.
• Good Night and Good Luck You stay classy George Clooney.
• Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List Funny girl Kathy is just like us. My case in point, in Season 1, episode 5, The New York Times photographer Stephanie Diani arrives to shoot the star for Griffin’s “The Red Carpet’s Bête Noire” 2/27/05 article. Stephanie okays the crooked tiara, suggests messy hair, and politely turns down Kathy’s “any chance you can retouch the photo” entreaty — just as she did when I whined about the photo for Oπe® & my “TiVo, Cable or Satellite? Choose That Smart TV Wisely” 9/5/04 interview (written by Ken Belson). Not to worry, Stephanie “Baby, make me a star” Diani does just that with her elegant eye and egalitarian camera.
• Gran Torino Cliché driven.
• The Great Gatsby (as referenced in Best Laid Plans) Bryce: So we have survey courses to start, American Lit, Brit Lit, everything that should be taught in high school: Hawthorne, James, Fitzgerald. Nick: “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly with the past.” F. Scott. Great Gatsby. That’s a book he wrote. Bryce: We don’t actually read anything we teach. The department chair gives us Cliff’s Notes at the beginning of the semester, and we just say whatever’s in those.
• The Grim Reaper According to TV cult show Dead Like Me, Alice Sebold’s The Lovely Bones, and Woody’s latest Scoop — the sweet hereafter ain’t so sweet. Unresolved issues, investigations, and menial jobs take up valuable resting time. Thank God for the black humor death informs.
• Grindhouse Guns, Gals, Ghouls, and Gore a GoGo! Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s double feature issues the following warnings: Don’t blaspheme. Don’t call a Kiwi an Aussie. Don’t take rides from strangers. Don’t mess with Texas. (Do, however, see Planet Terror and Death Proof, they’re Supersonic.)
• Hamlet 2 “The play’s the thing” becomes more playful with a snackatorium and Cricket in Times Square.
• Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets The trouble with Harry Potter isn’t Harry at all—it is the action and events that transpire without enough exposition in a story that, ironically, is far too long. Dobby, the Jar Jar Binks-ish character, is an elfish irritant. Moaning Myrtle haunting the loo and Kenneth Branagh’s love affair with himself, however, are magical fun.
• Heist David Mamet’s capable caper flick. It’s not wordplay — it’s wordspar.
• The Hoax Richard Gere moves with his gigolo groove but it’s Alfred Molina who really pulls off The Hoax.
• Holes Dig it.
• Hot Fuzz With both barrels blazing, the Brits bust the buddy cop genre to bits. Bloody good!
• I Love Your Work Louis: He’s not a stalker, he’s a fan. Gray: And Mark Chapman just loved The White Album. Louis: Well, it was a good album.
• Inglourious Basterds Proving to schoolchildren everywhere: you can misspell and still write well.
• Insomnia These are the questions that keep me wide-awake. What happened to Paul Dooley? He disappears at some point in the movie. Why did Hilary Swank go to an only just released suspect’s home without backup? Why do grown men reference Star Wars in daily conversation? (Okay, Nicky Katt’s Obi Wan bit is funny.)
• Iron Man It may be Robert Downey Jr.’s rodeo, but to fans of Susan Pickett (not limited just to Annie Liebovitz and RC McGowan), it’s her visual effects show.
• Juno Screenwriter Diablo Cody knows who wears short shorts: Michael Cera! Superbad.
• Keen Eddie starring American actor, Mark Valley, as a U.S. police detective working in London with Scotland Yard. Quirky and quick; Valley is beautifully supported by topflight (Is there any other kind?) British “character” actors. Inspector Monty Pippin: You, see, the key to understanding the English is not what they say, but the inflection. . . . the inflection implies the intention. Detective Eddie Arlette: Well, give me a for instance. Inspector Monty Pippin: When Sir Edward asked how my brother Tom was getting along, what he really meant was, I know where you live, you bastard. You and your brother will be living in a rubbish bin by the time I’m through with the lot you . . .
• The Kid Stays in the Picture Robert Evans animatedly revisits his decades under the influence through signature oversized rose-colored glasses.
• The Last King of Scotland Forrest Whitaker’s performance as a beleaguered high school principal is quite competent in the R-rated after-school special American Gun. Skip it and see his embodiment of Idi Amin instead.
• Lilo & Stitch Orphans! Aliens! Elvis! It doesn’t get more American “ohana” than that.
• Love Actually A wry slice of sigh.
• Lovely and Amazing is exactly that. In particular, the brief, yet multi-layered moment between Catherine Keener and heartbreaker Raven Goodwin. Rife with irony, the scene—set in McDonalds—elegantly addresses the political and social issues of race in addition to the beauty myth from which writer/director Nicole Holofcener’s heroines suffer.
• Mad Men Greg Kihn was ahead of time singing about the retro suits who “can buy New York with [a] plastic card”:
“Well, I get up every morning about 7 o’clock, catch the 9:02 and I make several stops. I keep the conversation and my pattern light, I hit the elevator, oh I feel alright. I check the numbers first and I’m right on time, I watch the traffic jam in a perfect line. Oh the city may burn but I keep my cool, on the best of days I think of school. I’m a Madison Avenue Man, I can make your fantasies part of my plan. I’m a Madison Avenue Man, well let me touch your money with my Madison hands, alright.” Madison Avenue Man
• Mad Men: Shut the Door. Have a Seat. ” . . . he knocked at the president’s door at Bascome and Barlow’s advertising agency. ‘Come in!’ Armory entered unsteadily. ‘Morning, Mr. Barlow.’ Mr. Barlow brought his glasses to the inspection and set his mouth slightly ajar that he might better listen. ‘Well, Mr. Blaine. We haven’t seen you for several days.’ ‘No,’ said Armory. ‘I’m quitting. . . .I don’t like it here.’ ‘I’m sorry. . . . You seemed to be a hard worker — a little inclined perhaps to write fancy copy — ‘I just got tired of it,’ interrupted Amory rudely. ‘It didn’t matter a damn to me whether Harebell’s flour was any better than anyone else’s. In fact, I never ate any of it.—This Side of Paradise-F. Scott Fitzgerald
• Mad Men Season Four Fall Out Three
• Marie Antoinette The girl in the curl.
• Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World Technically well done, but it’s no Captain Ron.
• Matchstick Men Is there anything wrong with an obsessive-compulsive disorder? Not when it puts the quirk in the con artist.
• Melinda and Melinda A cast of comedians with distinct voices of their own, yet Woody Allen’s odd harmonics still resound: Josh Brolin (jumping on a trampoline): What do you do for exercise? Will Ferrel: Tiddlywinks. And an occasional anxiety attack.
• The Method Fest You know when Martin Landau arrives in beautiful downtown Burbank to attend your film festival—you’re firmly pinned on the indiefest map. The Holiday Inn, the “official hotel” of The Method Fest is also the site of Frank T.J. Mackey’s infamous “Seduce and Destroy” seminar in Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia. Talk about method acting.
• Milk Hope floats.
• Minority Report Tom Cruise falls into The Gap. Steven Spielberg does his utmost not to fall into his usual sentimentality trap. The total recall of long-ago plot twists (Witness, The Fugitive), however, mars its futuristic sheen.
• Mission Impossible III Shift into Cruise control.
• Monsters, Inc. The exhilarating swinging door ride is what Disneyland’s Space Mountain might look like if you blast off with the lights on. The Monster’s Inc. trailer promoting Harry Potter — sheer marketing magic.
• MTV Movie Awards 2002 Theme: “Movies Kick Ass.” They do. And so do co-presenters Jack Black and Buffy.
• MTV’s The Hills Laguna Beach Orange crush navel gaze.
• MTV Jersey Shore “These are not my people”.— John Joseph Cappa, 100% Italian American (aka The Boon) “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” — as illustrated by Michael Cera’s swelled-head gelled-head imitation photographed between Snookie and Sweetheart. Youth in Revolt!
• MTV2 School of Surf Malibu High School vs. Ocean City, New Jersey Write Between the Lines: Were you ever aware of the cameras? Skylar Lawson: “I was always aware because they were always in my face.”
• No Country for Old Men There will be blood.
• Nowhere in Africa An elegant evening gown serves as both contentious point of bitterness and savior of sanity for an exiled German Jew family in 1930s Kenya. Internal marital conflict set against the backdrop of WWII — on the vast plains of Africa — is yet another filmic realization of history’s necessary lessons.
• NYC Prep PC: I want to get out of The City ’cause I’ve been here for 18 years . . . just meet a whole new crowd. Not be in the same bubble, with the same people and the same reputation . . .start fresh . . . I don’t know, the more I think about L.A., the more I dread it. Kat: You realize you’re not going to do any work, you’re going to do the same things, you’re going to have the same drama, it’s absolutely inevitable.
• The OC We’ll miss those crazy kids’ antics, especially the boy banter: Seth: I think I made the worst mistake of my entire life. Now I need to get Summer back and I have to get into Brown. Ryan: Great. How? Seth: That’s where you come in. Ryan: We need a plan. Seth: It’s going to be a long night, Ryan. A lot of whining, a lot of pining . . . Plan A: I fake my own death. You never want to underestimate the power of the sympathy vote. Ryan: Is there a Plan B? Seth: Yeah, yeah, I could hack in through the Brown firewall, into the admissions office mainframe, and reverse my acceptance. Ryan: That’s actually good. You know how to do that? Seth: I had an uncle who went to DeVry.
• Ocean’s Eleven Steve Soderbergh’s boys will be boys’ night out caper. Dapper Dan and neon glam.
• The Office BBC America broadcasts the pathos and bathos of office politics — without a bloody laugh track.
• The Office Of course we love the UK version, and we do ask for helpings of Extras, but take particular delight in the U.S. Office‘ shout-outs to other great TV shows: To wit: Pam: “Movie Mondays” started with training videos. But we went through those pretty fast. Then we watched the medical video. Since then, it’s been half hour installments of various movies, with the exception of an episode of Entourage, which Michael made us watch six times.
• The Office: Cocktails Dwight: Do you watch Battlestar Galactica? Party Guest: No. Dwight: No? Then you’re an idiot.
• Pan’s Labyrinth “Do you believe in magic, in a young girl’s heart?” Guillermo Del Toro’s masterful mix of historical fiction and fantasy results in a fabulous fabula.
• Personal Velocity and Women on the Edge of a Nervous Breakdown engage us with risqué and at-risk women and their tame-to-tragic tales. Both end with unborn babies who have a personal velocity of their own that will not be denied.
• The Pianist Adrien Brody survives the ravages of WWII in the streets and hiding places of Warsaw, and reveals with complexity the systematic progression of freedom lost when the sheer survival of his body, mind, and music becomes paramount.
• Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End True, there are underdeveloped storylines, overboard swashbuckling scenes, yet . . . Being Johnny Depp hallucinogens, knave Keith Richards guitar strums, the fey the feints the quirks and the quips call for a rousing round of Yo Ho Yo Ho a Pirates life for me.
• Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl A bit of Shakespeare, silent film, vaudeville, with many asides to a complicit audience. Depp at his most inventive; Rush stole his voice from Hannibal Lechter. All ages may safely enjoy this ride.
• Quantum of Solace Save the story, save the world. Despite the fierce pierce of Bond’s gimlet eyes, the film cannot be Bourne. Casino Royale is a much better bet.
• The Queen Helen Mirren may play the pristine Queen of England, but in real life she’s the girl in The Gap.
• The Quiet American A slow-moving, intoxicating look at love in Vietnam, and the American CIA’s backing of a third-party in the early 1950s—culminating in more than two decades of the U.S.’s involvement in the country. Michael Caine displays his usual brilliance. Brendan Fraser as the CIA operative; how does he get such juicy roles? Editor’s Note: The Quiet American is based upon the Graham Greene novel of the same name.
• Rabbit-Proof Fence A beautiful film—handled with unusual cultural sensitivity. Kenneth Branagh is his superb self, playing an insensitive civil servant (who genuinely thinks he’s civilized and sensitive), the rest of the cast, for the most part, are Aboriginal young people with no prior acting experience. The result, filmed against an arresting Australian background, is a stunning triumph of the human spirit. The rabbit proof fence is a metaphor for the walls that separate the Aboriginal people from the white invaders of their ancestral land. Another example of colonial imperialism gone awry.
• Rachel Getting Married The cure for this melancholic, albeit fine film? Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab.
• The Real Housewives of Atlanta Mercy! You are cordially invited to this Aunt Pitty Pat party. Smelling salts optional.
• The Real Housewives of Atlanta Peach s(ch)nap(p)s.
• The Real Housewives of New Jersey — Season 2 “Counting the cars On the New Jersey Turnpike They’ve all come To look for America.”— Simon & Garfunkel
• The Real Housewives of New YorkCity Proving there is no difference between apples and oranges.
• The Real Housewives of New York City — Season 3 “You don’t wear chiffon on Christmas Day.” Gloria metes out wedding dress etiquette.
• The Real Housewives of Orange County White trash with cash.
• The Real Housewives of Orange County: No Boundaries Gretchen: Are we brawling? Where do we live? Are we in Jersey?
• Real Woman Have Curves If you had to watch America Ferrera without dialogue, her facial expressions and body language would give all you need to know. Realistic and a fresh look at feminism. There is no man bashing, and everybody wins, even Mamá, who, it appears at first, doesn’t, but in the not-too-distant-future, will. A clash of cultures and generations where all come out with their dignity and self-worth intact. A terrific soundtrack as well.
• Reality Television is no longer a guilty pleasure. All of us who watch are just plain guilty. Leave it to The Simpsons to point out the error of our ways. In “Helter Shelter,” Homer and the family agree to reenact the 1800s time period for the “Reality Channel”: Network Woman: The show’s getting boring. We’re losing viewers. Network Man: I have an idea. It’s crazy, but it just might work. Like it did last week, on another show. We bring in the biggest, most famous star from a 70s sitcom whose phone hasn’t been disconnected. Cut to Marge opening the front door: Marge: Squiggy? When Laverne and Shirley’s Squiggy fails to increase ratings, extreme measures are taken: Network Man: All right, this still isn’t working. Fixing this show is going to take some original thinking. Everybody pull out your TV remotes and start flipping around. The episode closes with the title Joe Millionaire spelled out in dollar bills—and Homer popping them in his mouth. Homer: Mmmm . . . promo . . .
• Reaper: Charged Sock: You’ve finally found the one thing you’re good at. You sent an escaped soul back to hell and you kicked ass. We kicked ass. Sam: I’m good at stuff. OK? Other stuff. Right? Sock: Ah, you do rock the house on Guitar Hero. Sam: That’s what I’m talking about. Kevin Smith fingerprints, Ray Wise pearly whites, & home store slacker boys brew tease and sympathy for the devil.
• Rocket Science Rapid fiery Anna Kendrick (New Moon’s bright star) foils Hal Hefner in this story filled with pluck and rue. We’re Spellbound in Jeffrey Blitz’ Garden State.
• Running With Scissors . . . and dancing as fast as I can.
• Tweaked Out: The Salton Sea Val Kilmer, sporting a faux-hawk and a big tattoo of the titular eerie landscape, portrays a meth addict, a snitch, a jazz musician or all three in this wannabe Tarantino meets Trainspotting po-mo mess. It poses the question: Who is this man and why is he so tortured? My answer: Who cares?
• School of Rock I know, it’s only rock ‘n roll — but I like it, like it, yes I do. Get yer hey ya-ya’s out in pedagogues Richard Linklater, Mike White, and manic Jack Black’s music appreciation class.
• Scrubs: My Chopped Liver . . . Speaking of TV’s love for TV . . . TV Announcer in background: Stay tuned for more Gilmore Girls. Turk: Mothers and daughters. They speak so fast, but they speak so true.
• Sex and the City: The Movie Much ado about/ hairdos fashion dos and shoes /Big girls soul mates true.
• Shopgirl We love gloves. As an aside, Frances Conroy appears to be the go-to mama for red-headed daughters. One exception, however, is Joan Allen, mother of Christopher Moltisanti’s fave D-Girl Alicia Witt in The Upside of Anger.
• Sidewalks of New York Brittany Murphy is the 2001 “It Girl.”
• The Simple Life: Mortuary Interns Nicole Richie (to clients): “We can arrange it, so you get washed with Irish Spring before you’re buried . . . since you’re Irish.” Did she pick up this excellent tip from her guest spot on Six Feet Under?
• Six Feet Under Death cab for cutie.
• Slither Slick sick flick.
• Slumdog Millionaire Luckily, the creators of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” did not pay attention to Newton N. Minow’s “Vast Wasteland” landmark speech, decrying TV (& particularly singling out game shows).
• The Sopranos Tower of power.
• The Soup Enlist in Joel McHale’s Navy. Splicing The Hills’ Spencer and Heidi’s horror show with The Hills Have Eyes 2 is reason enough.
• South Park Matt Stone and Trey Parker take no prisoners as they wield their mighty sword of a thousand truths, especially in episodes like Make Love not Warcraft.
• Spider-Man (A 2nd Opinion) Every time Tobey Maguire appeared, I kept waiting for him to pull out his Cider House Rules medical bag. He just could not sell me on the Clark Kent persona since he looks about ten years old, however, once the costume went on (and the body double stepped in) Spiderman came to life. About halfway through, when Macy Gray makes her cameo, you notice she is the only minority that stands out. From the stars down to the extras, diverse New York City is turned into Provo, Utah. The story is great, and the special effects are well done. George Lucas needs to take a look at this movie. Memo to George: fewer special effects, more story! By far the best part was the Green Goblin and psycho man Willem Dafoe. Every time he comes on screen you are instantly aware of just how good an actor he is. Like Nicholson’s Joker, Dafoe’s Green Goblin fits his personality well. You may have noticed I did not mention James Franco. My only hope is that he retires from acting before the sequel.—John J. Cappa
Editor’s Note: Commentary regarding Kristen [sic] Dunst in a wet tee-shirt and cheerleading movies “. . . this is where she excels” has been omitted due to the reviewer’s obvious unawareness of Ms. Dunst’s fine body of work, e.g., crazy/beautiful, Dick, E.R., and The Virgin Suicides, to name of few. Additionally, the reviewer clearly was not an avid follower of Freaks and Geeks, in which James Franco did his best James Dean.
• Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron Executed with sweeping animation and minimal dialogue, Spirit is a rousing retelling of the settling of the old west, told from the point of view of a wild mustang whose spirit cannot be broken.
• Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clones Blasphemy! I’m not a fan of the Star Wars series. This time out, however, I am impressed with ILM’s galactic extravaganza—the celestial cityscapes, the hallucinogenic-induced creatures, Amidala’s couture. The Anakin/Amidala love story? Loathsome. Hayden Christensen’s soul-deadening delivery of the cliché riddled dialogue? Excruciating.
• Starter for Ten James McAvoy plays a Bright Young Thing in this hip Brit 80s Quiz Show.
• Stick It and Bring it On Power puff grrrls.
• The Strangers “Strangers in the night exchanging glances Wond’ring in the night what were the chances We’d be sharing love before the night was through?” Chances are zilch in this chill summer horror flick filled with childlike singsong on vinyl, dollfaces masks, and helter skelter switches.
• Summer Heights High Why watch? Ikea: The Musical.Need we say more?
• SuperbadDazed and Confused Freaks and Geeks party on 70s style.
• Surf Girls Blue Crush, but with cheesecake and whine.
• Talk to Her Obsessive Love (El Amor Obsesivo), appears to be the theme of Pedro Almodovar’s Academy Award winning screenplay. Marco, a journalist, is obsessed by his ex-girlfriend, who was obsessed by drugs. Lydia, obsessed with being bullfighter, to upset her disapproving father. Benigo, a male nurse, first obsessed by mother, then by Alicia, the comatose girl in his care. Alicia, obsessed by ballet before her accident. Her ballet teacher, played by Geraldine Chaplin in a wonderful turn, obsessed by Alicia and by ballet. The director presents the viewers with a plateful of so-seemed misfits. In the end, however, each character has given something positive to Marco and Alicia, who, the audience is left to believe, will become obsessed with each other, in a healthy way. An interesting footnote: on a bedside table, a Spanish translation of The Hours.
• There Will Be Blood Double, double toil and trouble/Fire burn, and oil bubble.
• A polaroid of contributor Jesse Cole Crowder with the caption “‘SEEMS DIFFERENT’ since Feb. 2003” can be seen in the opening credits of the 2004 sci-fi film They Are Among Us. Ah, the things we do for our film school friends.
• Transformers Motormouth Shia LaBeouf is a fun Hasbro action figure — the only bright shiny toy is this 144-minute-long advert.
• Roll of Tropic Thunder, hear my cry. Tears of laughter.
• True Love Lovers smote by monsters in the shape of a precocious thirteen-year-old playwright or a made in Japan Godzilla cannot extinguish the true love in Atonement and Cloverfield. Stories told in novel and camcorder form, both heartthrobs are named Robert. Coincidence? Not in J.J. Abrams Lost world.
• Unhook the Stars What to watch on Mother’s Day with the woman who gave you life. Writer (with Helen Caldwell)/director Nick Cassavetes creates a lovely thank you for his lovely mother, Gena Rowlands.
• The United States of Whatever Paul McCartney protégé and Tenacious D best friend Liam Lynch’s musical flash of brilliance. Punk rock phenomenal.
• Wall • E Remember the Spike Jonze’ commercial for Ikea, “The Lamp?” The media is the mixed message.
• Whale Rider Winner of Audience Award: San Francisco, Sundance, and Toronto. A 12-year-old Maori girl in New Zealand struggles to change her grandfather’s patriarchal mindset. Through Paikea ‘Pai’ Apirana’s single-minded persistence and an astonishing ocean journey, she eventually convinces Koro that she is as equally capable as a male to head up their tribe — and that sometimes, certain traditions and cultural ways need to make way for the new. This is an optimistic, mystical, and spiritually uplifting tale the audience really wants to believe in, and therefore wholeheartedly does.
• The Wedding Banquet The following missive courtesy of acerbic attorney Dennis Wong:
Katy: Michelle and I watched Ang Lee’s Wedding Banquet last night and were pleasantly entertained, however, we both agreed the screenplay is rather pedestrian. It merely chronicles everyday Chinese life. The story is particularly uneventful when compared to the drama and deceit that occurs at the Wong family on a daily basis. As a result, I would like you to visit my 98-year-old grandmother or my parents for the magic “four” days and evaluate whether my family is worthy of a screenplay or, at minimum, a sitcom. I really don’t want to extend myself if the end result is not marketable.
Thanks, Dennis
• William McKinley The Go -To school for Glee and the E.L. Konigsburg classic, Jennifer, Hecate, Macbeth, William McKinley, and Me, Elizabeth.
• The Wrestler Who has his own action figure bobbling by the dashboard light? Mickey Rourke, that’s who.
• You, Me and Dupree — The Break-Up Funny girls Kate & Jen act more as fashion plates than soul mates in boys’ club members’ Matt + Owen & Vince + Jon’s romantic comedies.
• YouTube Why join? OMG! To try on the “Shoes.” — random review by Irish laddies MacGuinness and Killian.
Editor’s note: Or, go straight to another nice Irish lad’s website, Liam Kyle Sullivan’s a liam show. Betch.
Y Tu Mamá También The caddish charmers have a manifesto that includes such statements as: “Truth is cool but unattainable.” Ceci, the cool unattainable woman they wish to seduce, has one as well: “You’re not allowed to contradict me.” Ceci rules!
• The Rachel Zoe Project We die. “She is not happy, unless everyone around her is panicked, nauseous, or suicidal.” — The Devil Wears Prada Ashton: . . . We’re in Atlanta. Brad: Have you run into any of the housewives of Atlanta? Like Nene or Kim? Rachel: Brad’s a little obsessed with Nene. Ashton: I understand. Demi’s obsessed as well.
• The Rachel Zoe Project — Season 2 “I can’t think of anything worse than showing up at an event in a suit that somebody else is wearing. It’s exactly like that episode of 90120 when Brenda and Kelly wore the same dress to their prom.”—Brad metes out prom dress etiquette.
• Zoolander Ben Stiller puts the moue in model Derek Zoolander. Owen Wilson’s too sexy for his smirk . . .
Last but not least . . .
Awards Season Understatements: Lucy: Let’s face it, Ethel. You don’t win an Academy Award by patting poodles on the head and crowning queens.
