|
Day was well past coffee
and breakfast - even if at Parthenon the first meal of the
day wasn't much more than some dusty Danish - when Heisenberg's
green line rang.
"Oh, yes the teen
vampire project. I like this draft, what are we calling it?"
He asked without any
expectation of a response.
"The sophomore
version. Yes yes the problem as I see it is that it should
either be a vampire film or a werewolf movie, but this mixture
it's simply too either or and I don't want that and I don't
think what's her name wants that."
There was a pause as
if to give the novelist some credit for coming up with the
series of words that had made a book and was now being transcribed
into a screenplay by a scribbler that knew, in the opinion
of Heisenberg and for that matter Parthenon, what it truly
meant to write.
That is to say, being
oblivious to nearly everything but the all
important plot and the not so important sub-plot.
"I'd love to get
that Soy Popula on this, but that brat thinks she's Hollywood
royalty. Next thing you know, we'll be stuck making the next
Norman space sci-fi adventure vehicle set in Paris. I got
enough Worries . . . Let me make some calls and see what the
schedules are like for the Winter season. I'll get back to
you, in the meanwhile, cut out the dogs, you know the wolves,
and make it something more sexy - uhm maybe he turns into
bird - a pretty bird - half vulture and half falcon. Now,
get right on that before I sign the director."
Heidelberg hadn't seen
it all, but he'd seen enough. He especially held witness to
the continual lack of major worldwide box office at Parthenon.
It was fair to say, he was an agitated man in need of something
spectacular for his prodco. Parthenon was one of the old time
players. Old as far as anything could possibly be old in an
ever-young city like Los Angeles. It was rather simply mostly
farmland when cinema was taking its early steps. A dream much
like Las Vegas, but a dream that would quickly evolve into
one of the world's most alluring attractions. When America
went to war, Parthenon went to war. When American consciousness
expanded, Parthenon was prepared with R rated films. Even
so, none of their movies were ever among the top-grossing
of all time, they didn't have the type of weekend openings
one might be inclined to associate with a name such as Parthenon
Studios.
Every so often H, as Heidelberg was nicknamed by those near
enough his acquaintance not to be threatened with being fired
or worse, would say to himself, "Well, Gigantic was massive
and they had to split the loot with Teamworks, and after I've
been here we had Reformers but also in partnership with Twenty
Cent Locks; it's probably one of those movies things."
Sometimes, when H practiced infidelity and he did so every
Thursday and every long weekend available to himself and his
revolving convoy of escorts, he'd whisper afterwards: "The
thing I worry about is the Artisan Curse." Of course,
he wouldn't explain what that was to his momentary mistress
except to add: "They had a good thing with the Rare Hitch
Project, but they went for the sequel and it killed them."
If the fun was outside the ordinary, H would include a concluding
thought to his confessional whisper: "It's the age of
the sequel, but some movies simply cannot be made."
Months passed, H was
never pleased with the photo-play in progress, much as he
loved the potential. "It needs something. It has romance,
sure. I don't know, maybe a bimbo mobile?" From his experience,
it was clear, when a movie starts to feel like work then it
might not be worth producing. It might just start to feel
like a workload to the goer that has to carry it for two hours
in a dark room.
The afternoon came
early. One conference call and suddenly his
secretary handed him the green line and the words went around
the room, "Let the lawyers find a new team for this screenplay.
I already got one with the same title out, it's been knocking
at my distraction for months, and we really need to concentrate
on that love story with the three-legged cat."
When the first Vampire
film did well, there was some uneasiness
surrounding Parthenon and H. Still, it was -as many people
tend to say-"one of those things." They got lucky
or they deserved something for having the balls to put Christmas
Nicci as a piglet in a stinker. A tolerable folly. Once in
a while, to his wife, in the late evenings, he'd say, "Maybe
I should have had some more patience with the werewolf side
of the thing."
Powerful men are not
usually prone to remorse or regret. Tears are rare, although
fears might be fruitful. H was being driven to one of his
hideaways just outside L.A. in the autumn when the sequel
to the project he sent back into negotiations appeared.
The long lines made
him think, "Hmm kids, looks like another winner, this
business is insane. No telling what might strike up the ticket
band." He took a Tambien, which was a popular medication
in those days even if the side effects included self-extermination.
He went to bed, shaking from the text-message realization
that it had made seventy million in a few hours showing. The
words echoed like cold leftovers in the gut of his thoughts,
"This isn't even the big weekend; this isn't even the
big weekend."
That first not even
the big weekend the movie grossed 153 million domestic. It
was bigger than many of the big movies and cost a fraction
of what they had been budgeted. It was big news. Excellent
news, in fact, for the industry. It simply wasn't news that
Parthenon and especially H could relish.
After only two weeks
the world-wide total was estimated at four
hundred and seventy million dollars. All of it within an international
recession, possible flu-epidemic, and the talk of global warming
looming over the earthly population.
One might have expected
a place like Parthenon to demote or even
deliver Heidelberg his walking papers. "Didn't the guy
from the mailroom look a lot like H? If you can't get me on
screen anymore then I don't have half an hour to make your
pasta al dente."
Of course, often something
as dramatic as the sequel's triumph turns heads so entirely
that nothing is said and things go on as they had before the
rights were let go to some other contender.
Day was well past tea
and biscuits even if at Parthenon the first meal of
the day wasn't much more than some hasty fruit - when Heisenberg's
private line rang.
"Oh, yes. That
reminds me, I need something stronger than my current prescription.
Would Morphine be too difficult?" He asked, entirely
expecting the Rx Fedexed before the pome disappeared from
its decomposing position alongside the oversized Rolodex.
|