Film festivals + fake fur = fun when HypeFest co-directors Jessie Nagel and Leigh Godfrey (operating under their festival aliases of Catsy and Tammy Tonic) head up the mountain to the 20th annual Sundance Film Festival.

Day 1

Eschewing expensive snow gear and sporting thrift store finery, Catsy & Tammy Tonic (TT) arrive in Salt Lake City and are greeted by a cab driver who bets that our hapless heroines were either heading to Park City or Provo. Although we never find out what is going down in Provo, Catsy & TT confirm at least one notion - we are Park City material!

Along the road to PC, "Sammy" the cabbie shares his story: He is Iraqi and he once fought for forces backed by George Bush, Sr. during the Gulf War. For his efforts, he was relocated to the U.S. and settled in Utah, where he now spends his time driving a cab a little and partying a lot. He tells Catsy & TT he'll return to Iraq to fight in this next war, should it happen, because it is his duty.

That, and plying unsuspecting Mormon girls with Long Island Iced Teas.

After checking into our festival home, the always-welcoming but tragically named Copper Bottom (see Colleen O'Mara Diamond's Postcards from Park City), Catsy & TT head to the Sundance headquarters to get some cred (press credentials, that is). There are no press boxes at the Sundance HQ for late arrivals such as the HypeFest girls. Not that Catsy would know, since she asks the PR people to check under the wrong publication. Catsy & TT then put out some HypeFest postcards, which are promptly "filed" by a Sundance volunteer. Thankfully, the HypeFest postcards were purchased in bulk.

Longing for greener pastures, and a place where people won't throw away our valuable promotional materials, we head for Main St. and make our way to the headquarters of alt-fest NoDance. Along the way, we notice a bar advertising $2 cocktails and vow to return the minute the clock strikes an acceptable drinking hour. Or does that apply here?

NoDance is located inside the Main Street Mall. It's a strange place, the mall, with about as much personality as a concrete box. And yet we love it, with its cavernous stairwells, empty stores, and pervasive smell of fudge. The Sundance Digital Center, an amalgam of corporate sponsors and online showcase screenings, is tucked away in the basement like the forlorn stepchild it is. A quick tour of the Digital Center later in the day by Tammy Tonic reveals nothing but Roger Ebert. NoDance HQ is on the second floor, and Catsy and TT are greeted by some stalwart NoDancers, Francie and Tim, who hand us badges and request our presence at the ND closing night party, to be held that evening.

Not yet sure of our evening plans, Catsy & TT find that everyone's talking about Beck, who is performing at an HBO party later that night. It's the hottest ticket going, but the HypeFest girls know that those types of events in Park City are the ones that everyone wants to get into, but only a random connected-to-one-of-the-many-sponsors group ever attend. Frustratingly, those who get the nod are most often the people who could care less about the actual performers. So, although we are confirmed Beck fans, but aren't J-Lo or Afflack, we know this is one velvet rope we won't be crossing. So we decide to go for the sure thing and hit the NoDance party, after attending a BMI music showcase at the Sundance House.

But first, those $2 cocktails were beckoning, so Catsy & TT head to the Phat Tire Saloon. There, in addition to sampling what are true value drinks, we dispense HypeFest tattoos (fake, for the noncommittal) to the bartender Tomaz. Or at least we think that's his name: his name tag says We ID Tomaz, which reads as though there are some pretty targeted restrictions. Later that evening, when we return to the Phat Tire, we see cocktail waitresses sporting the tattoos. Go HypeFest!

Although Tomaz is sad to see us go, we depart to the music showcase featuring John Doe, who would always be listed as The Number One Most Sexy And Talented Fellow Ever, if the popular culture publications would just listen more attentively to Catsy & TT. As it is, when we tell people we are going to see John Doe, we get a lot of blank stares.

At the event, Catsy and Tammy run into Bug Music's Jonathan Palmer (hereafter referred to as Notorious JP), who has somehow been enlisted to book John Doe another set at the Sundance Music Café for the next night, thereby locking in Catsy's and TT's plans for the morrow. As Notorious JP makes the arrangements, Catsy cannot contain her excitement and goes to chat with John after his set. She is delighted when he references the blouse man (Viggo Mortensen) from "A Walk On The Moon" as he holds a t-shirt up to her chest. While TT thinks it's rather bizarre that John Doe would reference his ex-wife's ex-husband while suggestively outfitting another woman, Catsy is just excited that John Doe was checking her out. She buys his CD, even though she already owns it.

Catsy, Tammy, and Notorious JP leave the music behind and attend to another session of $2 cocktails at the Phat Tire. Can you blame them? Witty banter ensues. Then, at the stroke of 9:28 pm, Catsy and Tammy Tonic bid farewell to Notorious JP and jet up to NoDance headquarters for the closing night party and awards ceremony.

NoDance is the same fun, filmmaker-friendly festival it has always been but this year, a veneer of spirituality has been added, brought to you by way of Forest Whitaker and his "Spiritdance." Let's take this opportunity to rant on about the need for a moratorium on all festivals incorporating the word "dance." Sundance, Slamdance, NoDance, Shedance, Moondance, Digidance, and many many more—need I go on? Get an original idea, people. It's a festival, not a dance. Sundance was named after a place, you know. However, Sundance isn't even held in Sundance, so how's that for lame?

Anyway, Salma Hayek (a perfect example of TT's "all stars are midgets" theory, as Salma stands about 4' 11'') presents an award to a woolly Mike Figgis in the slightly spruced up NoDance HQ - white drapery that keeps getting caught on Catsy's hat and candles that are a Fire Marshall's wet dream. Rumor has it Forest's wife insisted that incense was burned at all times, leaving some of the old school NoDancers, well, dare we say, incensed? (We do dare, because we love word puns.)

We eschew the obvious celeb photos and make a beeline to FilmThreat's Chris Gore who proceeds to give Catsy & TT a lesson in self-portrait fashion photography. Catsy and CG have matching cameras and pouty expressions. C'est magnifique! CG proclaims Catsy & TT foxy enough for the cover of Maxim, but we know better than to give up our day jobs.

After a long round of good-byes, Catsy & TT leave and search out some late night food. Warning! Unless you love, we mean LOVE, garlic do not order anything from Main Street Pizza and Noodle. Sadly, our cheese pie is just covered with the stuff. Thank God we're heading back to the condo. On the way out, some male patrons admire Catsy's fun fur hat. "See," one says, "I told you there was a cat in here." No boys, just Catsy.

Day 2
The morning begins innocently enough at the Mount Air restaurant where clearly the staff enjoys going against the welcoming attitude of Park City. Catsy & TT hook up with Lauren from Kaboom and her pals Barb, Peggy, and Sarah. The food is generous and good, and even the scones are eaten, although they are actually fried lumps of dough.

Catsy & TT's first order of true business (not that the many cocktails consumed the night before weren't done for the sake of taking care of business) is the Shorts Panel at the Filmmaker Lodge. The panel is interesting and provides both food for thought and the opportunity to meet folks from Hypnotic, Sundance Channel, and say hello to our pal Jonathan Wells of Res.

Post panel Catsy & TT meet up with the Bad Boys of Animation (BBA),—Brooke, Ian and Andrew—for cocktails at our local, the Phat Tire. The Phat Tire has been transformed into the TromaDance Headquarters since we last haunted its halls, and we have to work up our courage to attend the closing night festivities later that evening. The party is smoky and full of yahoo types (read: jocks with piercings) but, on the upside, the HypeFest girls give out tons of tattoos and provide more for Tomaz and his crew. Just before Catsy & TT depart, a slightly post-teen male calls Catsy "Ma'am" and requests a tattoo on his suddenly naked torso. Meow!

Catsy & TT run away from the smoke and underage men in order to attend a condo party hosted by the creators of the short film Ocularist. We arrive unfashionably early, so much so that there are only two hosts and no guests. We quickly put ourselves to work cutting limes and pouring drinks for the arriving guests. The whole crew comes pouring in just as the HypeFest ladies have to bid adieu, and everyone asks why we have to leave so early. Take note, party crashers: An unfashionably early arrival can inexplicably give you an added air of mystery.

But John Doe beckons. At Plan B music café we reconnect with the Bad Boys of Animation, who have just won the Sundance Online Film Festival Audience Award for their graphic novel-styled epic Broken Saints. Knowing there is a fine line between flirting and stalking, Catsy keeps her distance from John Doe while TT (who knows there is a fine line between flirting and doing something you'll regret in the morning) keeps the BBA entertained. At one point, she overhears women in the powder room talk about grabbing and kissing one or perhaps all members of the BBA. By the time she returns, the boys are surrounded by a flock of girls and a tray full of shots. Strangely, Catsy & TT are not invited to partake.

Tammy and the BBA move into the back room of Plan B to continue the drinking and shenanigans, while Catsy returns to the Copper Bottom to meet up with the third HypeFest musketeer, Director of Communications Colleen O'Mara, aka Mara Damen (MD). Tammy follows shortly thereafter, after realizing that she's the oldest person in the bar. Stopping by 7-11 on her way back to the condo, TT runs headlong into Illeana Douglas, who asks Tammy, "Where are we going now?" While TT grasps for a destination and a HypeFest postcard, Illeana realizes Tammy is not who she thought she was, and jets off with her pals to an after hours party. Drat!

Day 3
Our HypeFest team awake at the ungodly hour of 7 am in order to get to an 8:30 am screening of the Ocularist and A Certain Kind of Death. Though the subject matter for both is tough on the early morning eyes, the films are compelling and thought provoking. A Certain Kind of Death lays bare a mysterious process surrounding what happens to people who die with no next-of-kin and Ocularist is a short documentary about a man who creates prosthetic eyes. (Catsy and TT are sure glad they finished their PB & J sandwiches before the corpses are projected.)

MD is on the run—visiting pals and clients while Tammy and Catsy return to the condo with short animated films picked up from the Sundance press office. As animated as they are, nothing can counteract the effects of a late night and an early morning, so a nap post-screening is in order. We won't go as far to say we need our beauty sleep, as permanent dark circles under your eyes while at Sundance are as prevalent as the cell phones and obvious stares.

After their nap, Catsy & TT meet up with MD and go to the Music Café to hear singer-songwriter Patrick Park. Or rather, to sit through an unbearable 45-minute long sound check by a cliché R&B band before the reward of seeing Patrick Park, who is a great guitar player and performs moody and expressive songs. By the end of his set, we are fans.

Later that day, we hit a screening of Bukowski, a documentary about the infamous and hard-drinking writer who had more than his fair share of dead bodies in the closet.
After a brief respite at the Copper Bottom, a taxi escorts the HF girls to the rather pricey Slamdance closing night party. The good news is that there are copious cocktails, ample HF schmoozing opportunities and a kick-ass performance by SF band Imperial Teen. Learning our lesson from last year's Slamdance shindig, MD smuggles a bottle of tonic into the party only to have it explode upon opening. She turns to the other soaked guests and quips, "It's not a party unless something explodes." Chris Gore ropes Catsy & TT in for some additional photo opportunities by calling them hot babes. We believe and pose with a filmmaker, who vows to use the pic as his headshot. Casting agents of the world, lookout!

Day 4
Au revoir, Copper Bottom. It's our last full day in PC. MD has a day of screenings and Catsy and Tammy have an official press event—an animation panel. The HypeFest girls stay for only a few minutes because the panel is pretty, well, let's say, unanimated. In the filmmaker lodge lobby we see Terminal Bar director Stefan Nadelman (pre his big win for Best Short Film) and sit together while filling out Sundance surveys for the chance to win VIP badges next year. VIP? Could the fun be ratcheted up any further in 2004? Then it's a brief walk to the afternoon shorts program passing along the way the BBA, Matt Dillon, and Catsy's pal Syd, who always looks like he is wearing lip gloss.

New Years Eve, Saturday nights in Hollywood, "Push, Nevada," the Sundance Closing Night Party. Here is a brief list of things that don't live up to the Hype. Trapped in the cold and snow with hundreds of filmmakers, press, and festival attendees, the trusted trio waits for 45 minutes just to gain entrance into the Silvermine, the location of the Sundance final bash. Bouncers and Sundance volunteers are threatening and lack any valuable information. The restless crowd vows to toss all HP printers (the party sponsor) as soon as they return home. We joke with those around us, wishing all the while we had some alcohol-filled flasks in hand. With booze, we'd create our own party al fresco.

When we are finally deemed lucky enough to step through the doors we are confronted with the awful truth: the free drinks are gone and it's a cash bar only. Why bother to have liquor sponsors, we grumble. At least the bartenders are willing to give us a deal—half-off drinks for our misery. TT knows the HF girls are in for a bad night when she sees Steve Buscemi fleeing the scene moments after the free drinks are cut off. It's kind of a buzz kill for a high-flying visit. But in the end Catsy, Tammy Tonic, and MD have accomplished quite a bit on this jaunt, and managed to make new friends at the camp known as Sundance. We leave the cold and snow and return to warmer climes, all the while dreaming of our next festival adventure.

HypeFest Founders Leigh Godfrey, Jessie Nagel,
Katy Monahan Huntley, and Colleen O'Mara Diamond
toast to the warmer climes of L.A.